Update on me

I feel like I've been writing this post in my head for months.  I would think about what I would write, then decide not to do it.  Who cares?  Who reads this?  Why do I need to share my story?  So here's the thing, I do this blog mostly for me.  Here goes.

Over the past few months I have gained weight.  It's been rough.  I have lots of excuses but none of them really matter.  The truth is I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  I overeat when I'm stressed.  I overeat when I'm lonely or bored.  I overeat when I'm feeling helpless about my weight.  Go figure, right?  It's a vicious cycle.

Dean and I took a trip to Maui January 29 - February 10 this year.  It was a fabulous trip.  Other than the fact that the weather wasn't perfect, the trip was great.  I loved Maui and want to go back there.  We are hoping to go again next year so we'll see.  I ran a 5 K race while we were there.  Pacific Whale foundation "run for the whales".  Before we left, my right foot was starting to hurt and feel like plantar faciitis again.  I tried to back off of running a bit and it seemed ok before we left.  During the race it started to hurt so bad.  I finished the race but I was in major pain by the time I was done.  Of course the race was near the beginning of the trip so the rest of it I hobbled around.  When I got  home, I tried to rest it as much as I could, I iced and took ibuprofen.  About 2 weeks later I went to the Dr. because it wasn't feeling any better.  She sent me for physiotherapy and did an x-ray (the x-ray revealed a small bone spur).  He said I indeed have plantar faciitis again.  And I did a terrible thing by wearing flip flops and bare feet after injuring it so bad during the race.  Oopsie.  My point is, and I do have one is that now I can't do the exercise that I'm used to doing.  Running / walking.  But I will never forget at the beginning of this journey in January 2011 I had just finished having my second surgery on my left foot.  And I lost weight.  My Dr. always used to say "it's the food" and with me it really is.  Once I get the food under control, the exercise always comes later.  That being said, I am going to start back at the gym this week.  I'm pretty sure I can do the elliptical machine and the stationary bike (not my favourite) and of course upper body work as well.

me after the race in Maui 

2 weeks ago I started Weight Watchers again.  I felt so helpless after we got home.  And all my attempts to lose weight by myself were not working or hadn't been working.  Weight Watchers is what helped me before and I know it can help me again.  I did feel that this time I needed a fresh start though.  A new meeting, a new leader,  a new day.  I found a great meeting and a great leader.  That first night I was horrified by the number I saw on the scale.  But I saw the number and I moved on.  I am more determined than ever to get back to goal.  I will do it.  I'm trying very hard to not give myself a timeline this time.  It will happen when it happens.  I need to concentrate on changing my relationship with food.  Finding new ways to deal with stress, loneliness, boredom, sadness, etc.
My new meeting is Tuesday at 5:30.  I am going to start updating the numbers at the sidebar of my blog too.  Keep me accountable.  I packed up all my smaller clothes in a rubbermaid bin.  I have changed the little blue glass stones in the heart shaped jar to reflect the gain and the pounds I need to lose.  Moving on.

Beautiful Maui