My Story

I wasn't always overweight.  I remember certain weights in my life.  It's strange how numbers follow you through your life.  When I was in Grade 9 I remember being in gym class and getting weighed.  I was 5'6" and I weighed 126 lbs.  Here's the kicker, I think I thought I was overweight.  I didn't think about it a lot but I remember having issues with my body.  I thought my boobs were too big and so on and so on.  I also remember another gym class weight.  I think I was in Grade 11 or 12, I had grown an inch (yay!) so I was 5'7" and I weighed 138 lbs.  So, still a very healthy weight no problems here right?  I remember one particular girl in our school who was seemingly perfect.  She was telling us in gym class (damn that gym class) that to have a perfect body your measurements had to be 10" difference from your breasts to your waist to your hips.  So of course 36-26-36, or 34-24-34.....mine were not.  It's strange, this didn't consume me but I remember feeling inadequate.  Sad really that a young girl with a pretty darn good body (now that I look back) had issues.  Jump ahead now.....I was an active 20 something girl.  I didn't have problems with food.  When I got married at the age of 26 I weighed 145 lbs.  I remember this weight because I was a bit stressed before the wedding and actually didn't eat much (go figure, not eating when you are stressed?  what a concept!).  When I was 28 I got pregnant for the first time.  I must have been around 160 ish by then because I gained 40 lbs and I will never forget when the scale said 200 lbs (this was with child but it was still scary to me!).  So I lost weight of course but I probably didn't lose it all because 2 years later when I had my 2nd child I was well over 200 when I delivered and I only gained 30 lbs with him.  I would have to say that raising 2 little boys and working leaves little time for yourself.  That's what happened.  I didn't MAKE time for myself and I fell into the trap of eating "kid food" and eating off their plates and all the bad things that happen when you become a Mom.  That is the story of how I gained the weight but I developed all kinds of bad eating habits along the way.  I have tried many diets along the way.  Weight Watchers many times.  I would do good for a few weeks and lose some weight and then get off track somehow.  In 2006 I joined L.A. Weight loss.  I weighed 224 lbs.  My sister-in-law had some success on this plan (she lives in a different city and we didn't have one here).  I was so excited that we were getting an L.A. Weight loss and I couldn't wait to join.  It was expensive.  I didn't even buy all the things that they suggested, but it was still expensive.  The program really pushes their supplements and food products.  They really weren't good, but I did use the "L.A. lite" bars.  High in protein, but I remember looking at the ingredients one time and there was all the evil oils in there like "palm oil".  When I mentioned it to the staff member she sluffed me off and gave me some reason why it was OK.  Anyway, long story short (hahaha) I lost weight.  I lost over 40 lbs and got to around 180 lbs.  I was feeling great!  So what happened?  Christmas.  I know, I know that's lame.  Christmas came and I ate too many goodies and I gained.  Then I was embarrassed to go back.  Dumb.  I did not too bad but by they time April of 2007 came I had gained around 10 lbs back.  I had to have a total abdominal hysterectomy and for some reason when I went into the hospital my left ankle was swollen and a bit sore.  I vaguely remember twisting it but that's it.  You know when you fall off your shoe to the side?  I think that's all I did.  After almost a year of Doctoring I finally had a diagnosis.  Tendon damage. It's crazy I know.  It took them all that time to figure out what was wrong.  You have to realize this is Canada where you wait for specialists, you wait for tests, you wait.....  It wasn't until I finally had an MRI done that they figured out my problem.  By this time we are taking major swelling and pain.  I could function at work and home but I couldn't do much extra.  The Dr. tried casting my ankle but that didn't work.  Finally it was decided that I needed surgery.  December 2009 was my first surgery.  I recovered pretty good but I wasn't happy with the results.  After about 9 months I went back to Dr. because frankly it hadn't changed much.  Still pain and swelling.  Another MRI, and more surgery was decided.  January 12, 2011 I had the second surgery.  There was a jagged piece of tendon in there that was "cleaned up" and fixed.  By this time I had gained all but one pound of my weight back.  Meanwhile my sister had lost a lot of weight at Weight Watchers and was almost at goal.  I wanted it too.  Really bad.  They had posters up at work for a Weight Watchers at work meeting.  I had it in my mind, I was going.  The first meeting was January 14th, only 2 days after my surgery.  I couldn't go.  I really sucked walking on crutches.  Crutches are for fit people, not overweight, out of shape people.  By the next week, I had a walking cast and I was determined so that was my first meeting.  January 21st.  I couldn't exercise at all for a few months.  I was barely moving at all.  And I lost weight.  My ankle is not 100%.  I don't think it ever will be.  I'm pretty sure I will never be a runner.  I am OK with this.  My body has amazed me over the past months with what it can do.  And this is my story.