Sunday, August 28, 2011

My first gain and some random musings

Yes folks, that's right after 7 months of being on Weight Watchers I have officially had my first gain.  The funny thing is I don't really feel too bad about it.  Now don't get me wrong, I prefer losing to gaining.  Heck, that's the whole idea here right?  The thing is, it's been a good learning opportunity and a great time to regroup and refocus on my goals.  This is very close to the last weight I was when I lost 40 lbs a few years ago (before I started to gain it all back).  So I looked back on my food choices of late and my lack of tracking and realized I need to do more to get to my goal.  I am pretty good at tracking but I had a few days in the past week where I didn't at all, and some days where things just go into my mouth without a single thought (well I'm sure I do think about it....) and they don't get written down.  This is going to be a great week I just know it.  I just finished an awesome yoga class, I'm feeling strong and fit and I have more determination than ever!!

I have been thinking lately about a lot of things.....there has recently been some people in my life that don't seem to be happy that I'm getting healthy.  Or let me rephrase that, they aren't happy that I'm getting healthy and they are not.  I know it's jealousy and that's a really sad feeling.  I know.  I have been there.  I was so jealous of my sister and before that my best friend.  I tried to take those feelings of jealousy and turn them into determination.  And, this time it worked for me (or is working for me).  Only you can make it work for yourself, no one else can do it for you.  I am trying really hard not to push this on anyone.  If they ask, I will tell them but that's it.  I am feeling so great these days I want to shout it from the rooftops but I won't.  My husband is my biggest fan and supporter of me, and for that I am so grateful and it's really all I need.

Last night I was at the farm visiting my husband.  It's only 20 minutes away from our house, so my husband comes home every night but it's harvest time so he's been there a lot and late nights (I'm usually in bed).  It was such a beautiful night.  I rode in the combine with him for a long time, and we watched the sun set together.  It was great to spend some time with him.  I hadn't seen my brother-in-law for awhile (and he hadn't seen me ;-) he was amazed at how much weight I have lost.  He is a big guy.  I think he must be close to 300 lbs.  He wanted to know what I'm doing and how I lost the weight.  So I told him.  He said, "but I love food so much!".  LOL who doesn't??  I told him how it's amazing how I actually crave the healthy foods now, but I can eat whatever I want.  Just less of it and not as often.  Then he said, "I'm going to join a gym".  Well, that's great and will probably help but it really is all (mostly) about the food.  My Doctor has been saying that to me for years.  Every time I would give her an excuse as to why I couldn't lose the weight (my ankle, my back, my knees....whatever) she would always say "it's not about the exercise, it's about the food".  She is right.  Now don't get me wrong, the exercise does help for sure, but if your food choices are wrong or your eating is out of control it doesn't matter how much you exercise you aren't gonna lose much weight.  When I started in January I had just had my 2nd surgery on my ankle.  I was hardly moving at all let alone doing any exercise, and guess what?  I lost weight!  I guess the bottom line here is calories in and calories out right?  Burn more than you take in.  Eat less, move more.  Sad but true, the secret is there is no secret.  I leave you with a few pictures from last night.

  sunset on the Saskatchewan prairies 
 farmer Dean driving the combine
Canola going into the grain truck, love the sunset in this picture!  (sorry about the dust, but it was dusty!)
looking out the front window of the combine

1 comment:

Nancy said...

Thanks Kim for a very brave and wise post. It is true that sometimes other people in our lives can feel threatened by the changes they see in us as we begin to evolve into healthier women. Basically we all feel uncomfortable with change that we can't control, so when it is the people around us who are changing it can rattle our sense of what we feel like we know about ourselves and our relationships. I just feel like that is their issue to struggle with. So good for you and your renewed determination. A gain can be the poke in the soft place we need every so often.

As good as losing feels, maintaining is amazing! You will be there soon and trust is worth all the work and more! I feel so strong and fit and healthy and have a respect for myself that I have not had in years.

Great photos by the way. I am very happy for the support you and Dean give to one another!