Tracking

Yes, I actually tracked all my food today and stayed within my 26 points.  Baby steps people, baby steps.  I feel like my head is finally getting into the game here.  The past few weeks I have been flip-flopping around with all the ways I'm going to lose this extra weight I've put on.  I really just wish it was as much fun taking it off as it was putting it on.  Are you with me?  I look at this 15 or so pounds I have to lose and I think really it's not that much, just hunker down and do it.  But then I realize how long it can take to lose 15 lbs and I get discouraged.  I know, I know it's not 60 lbs or 100 lbs but it's still going to take some work and discipline.  And it's not going to happen overnight or at a "Biggest Loser" speed.  I think to myself, maybe I should try Paleo again.  I loved not tracking my food and I lost weight.  But as much as I felt great, it's just too restricting for me.  Especially in the Summer.  Because damn it I might want to have a cold beer or a glass of wine once in awhile!  Not too mention frozen yogurt!  I get crazy thoughts of doing fasts or cleanses.  Life would be so much easier if we didn't need to eat food, every day.  But we do.    So I know that in the end Weight Watchers is the right fit for me.  It's going to be my life from now on.

I feel like I was robbed.  I keep hearing of all these people losing weight and fitting into single digit sizes.  As much as I know it's not about a number on the scale or your dress size it's still makes me jealous.  But what really makes me mad is that the sizes have gotten bigger.  Because when I weighed 145 lbs at 5'7" I was not a size 8.  I was a size 10.  In fact my wedding dress was a size 11.  So now when I was at my goal weight of 165 lbs I was a size 10.  If I was 20 lbs less than that today, would I be a size 6?  Weird.  It doesn't matter I know but it's just one of those things you think about.  In fact one of the bloggers I'm jealous of fit into a pair of size 8 jeans today.  She's lost 89 lbs so far and looks fabulous!  You deserve it Chubby (gotta change that name.....it just doesn't fit anymore!).

I present to you again my "shoebox of weight loss failures".  I have tried many plans over the years and had success with a few, but none have helped me like Weight Watchers has.  I'm sticking with it for the long haul :-)

Key Lime pie.....mmmm

Today was good.  Eating was on track, I did Body Pump (and it nearly killed me) and I went for a long walk tonight with the dog.  Having a day off and starting on the road to eating better and working out is a no-brainer for me.  Tomorrow will be another story.  Work all day, come home tired and grumpy to an empty house and it can get ugly.  I really need to address the loneliness issues I have been facing.  I'm sure it's a huge part of my poor eating / binge eating of late.  When my husband is away (which is a lot) I get in a funk.  I am a different person.  I get down and turn to food for comfort.  I'm not proud of that but it's been happening more and more lately.  When I reached goal in 2012 I was doing so many classes at the gym in the evenings that I didn't seem to have time to get lonely.  Ah ha!!  Well, here's the thing.  I cancelled my gym membership a few months ago.  The gym that I had been going to has gotten SO DAMN BUSY!!  It's not a fun place to be anymore when you are fighting for a spot in the locker room and fighting for a spot in class (and sometimes not even guaranteed a spot if you aren't early).  The parking situation is terrible, and I know what you're all thinking.  Why does she care if she has to walk a bit from her car to go and work out??  It's not that, it's that you are rushing from work to try to get there in time to get a spot in a class and then there is NO parking.  It wasn't always like that.  I joined when it was just a new spacious, quiet gym.  And the thing that bothers me is they are always signing new people up!  C'mon Good Life Fitness!  You are full!!  OK rant over......I need a new gym.  My plan is to sign up for another one in the Fall.  Until then I'm going to do my at home DVD's and run, walk and bike outside.  But I do think that will help with the loneliness.  If I have a few classes a week to go to there is less time home alone.  I'm working on it.  Blogging more will help too :-)

If any of you follow me on Instagram (kimma2) or Twitter (kimma2) you may have seen that I posted a picture of a WW key lime pie.  I made it tonight and it was delicious!  Thanks to @TheDailyMel for posting the recipe via http://www.itsuxtobefat.com/recipes/weight-watchers-key-lime-pie-recipe  I will post my pics and recipe because of course I am in Canada and we don't have the same food as the USA does.  I will admit since doing the Whole 30 challenge a few months ago I have really tried to cut out my artificial sweetners and since then I can taste them.  But it was a nice treat and I would make it again.  The boys (actually grown men now at 22 and 20 but they will always be my babies!) haven't tried it yet but I'm sure they will love it.  Dean thought it was great and kept asking if I really made it with fat free yogurt!  I'm such a good cook!  hahaha!

Weight Watchers Key Lime Pie:  5 points per serving
serves:  8  (I changed it because seriously who cuts a pie into tenths?)

One Graham Cracker Crust (I used the Keebler ready made, couldn't find the reduced fat one here)
Note:  I figured out the points of the crust I used to be 3 points in 1/8 of the crust so I'm not sure of the difference in using the reduced fat crust.  I'm hoping 5 points is still ok!
1 1/2 cups of fat free Key Lime flavored yogurt
1/2 of a 1 litre tub of fat free cool whip
1 box of sugar free Lime Jello
1/4 cup of water

Directions:  Heat 1/4 cup of water in the microwave for a minute or two until the water starts to boil.  Or just boil some water in the kettle.  Dissolve the jellow in boiling water.
In a mixing bowl, combine the jello with the yogurt until it's combined.  Gently fold in the cool whip.  When it's all combined, pour it into the pie crust.  Cover (I just flip the plastic lid from the pie shell over and it makes a dome) and refrigerate until set (at least two hours).  Enjoy.

I'm still here!!

180.3 lbs.  Yes that is the sad number.  I can honestly say that I have stayed around 5 lbs above my goal for a long time, but I was able to put on 10 lbs very easily in the past few months.  I am not happy about it, but I'm trying to keep my head up, move on and learn from my mistakes.  I could sit here and write about all the things that lead me to that weight gain but I won't.  Let's just say that I ate a lot of food that I shouldn't have and I haven't been exercising as much as I used to.  Not a great combination.  And of course as we all know, it's what leads to weight gain.  It's funny, I'm not Catholic but I feel like this must be what confession is like.  Forgive me blog followers, for I have sinned.  I'm not perfect, that's for sure but I'm not giving up.  I remember how good I felt at my goal weight.  I remember how it felt to not have my belly sticking out (granted it was never flat, but smaller than it is now).  I used to lay in bed in the morning and feel my hip bones and my stomach and think "wow, I'm really not a fat person anymore!"  And to be honest my goal was never to get skinny, it was to be a normal sized, healthy person.  My body doesn't feel like that now.  I look in my closet and my options are limited.  I am still fitting into size 12's and Large's for the most part but the size 10's and Medium's are getting pushed further back.  So, the journey continues.  I went back to WW determined to do it again but after a 5 lb loss the first week, then a slight gain the second I haven't been back.  Why you may ask?  I was embarassed.  I know those ladies have seen ups and downs that would likely make my head spin but I just feel like I can't face them.  I need to face them.  I need to walk into my WW meeting with my head held high and say "I'm back, this time for good".  I know they will welcome me with open arms, because that's what WW is all about.  They are not there to judge, they are there to help.  And clearly I need help.  I have developed the "I will just eat _____ and _____ then I will start tomorrow" attitude.  And tomorrow just keeps getting pushed further and further away.  I'm smart enough to know that if I don't get this under control I will gain all the weight back that I worked so hard to lose.  One of the things that keeps nawing at me is that my neice is getting married in September.  I had it in my head I was going to be back at goal by then.  I think I have to let that go.  It's possible but it's not realistic.  I know how hard it is.  What I am telling myself is that I will weigh less than I do today by September 28, it won't be 165 but it sure as hell won't be 180 either!!  I have a plan.  I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and not worry so much about how long it's going to take to get back to goal but just get there.  And I will get there.  

Oh ya, I turned 50 last month!!  I had a wonderful Birthday.  I felt very loved :-)  50 is just a number and I am looking forward to being in better health in my 50's than I was in my 40's!  

3 mile run on June 2, 2013 for another virtual run the day before my 50th Birthday 

(shrinkingjeans "run the hood" Foxy 5K)

June 2, 2013 - family surprise party

June 3, 2013 - my 50th Birthday and more cake 

If your still reading this, I thank you for sticking with me.  June is a busy month.  Lots of celebrations.  But somehow last year I was able to celebrate without a big gain.  Like I said before, moving on.  Trying not to be too hard on myself.  I can do this.  I will do this.....again.   

Saturday night

Saturday night and here I sit alone.  Dean is at the farm.  Could it be Spring is actually around the corner?  Of course they aren't seeding or anything yet since there is a lot of snow on the ground still and there will be for a few months yet.  But the fact that he is out there doing something in preparation for seeding means Spring is coming!  He should be home soon but I thought I would write a quick blog post while I was waiting.

I can't believe I forgot to blog about the amazing thing I made the other night for myself!  It's basically a chocolate chip cookie for one in a single serving.  Microwave then top with ice cream and you have yourself an amazing treat.  I know, I know, it's not Whole 30 or Paleo but it was after my Whole 30 challenge!  The odd thing was I could hardly eat any of it.  I think I ate about a third of it and had to throw the rest away.  I was alone, alone again naturally (remember Gilbert O'Sullivan?  that was the first 8-track I owned...hehehe) anyway it is definately large enough to share.  And there wasn't anyone around to share it with (other than my dogs which would have gladly helped me out but there's the whole dogs not eating chocolate thing so ya) so it went in the garbage.  OK enough of that I will get to the link for the recipe!  It's found at Picky Palate and here's a yummy food porn picture of the finished product.  I didn't add the home made chocolate "shell" but mine looked pretty close to this:

I have to blame thank someone on Twitter for posting this recipe!  Use with caution, it's delicious and make sure there is someone else in the house to share it with!  You have been warned.  Enjoy.  

Also quick review of Safe Haven.  Went last night with my niece.  We both really enjoyed it.  Good story, had some suspense and of course wouldn't be a Nicholas Sparks movie / book without a lot of romance.  Josh Duhamel and Julianne Hough were both really good in this move.  If you like a good romance I would recommend seeing Safe Haven.  

Whole 30 wrap up!

Well I did it!  I really can't believe that I did but I did!  A Whole 30 challenge with only one cheat.  On the last Friday before it was over Dean and I went out with friends for supper to the Keg.  I had 2 glasses of red wine.  That's it.  I didn't touch sugar or sugar subtitutes, grains, legumes or dairy.  Pretty much stayed away from alcohol too except that one time.  I had a really bad day at work and a couple of glasses of wine was what was needed.

What did I learn from doing this challenge?  I would have to say the most important thing was how good you feel when you feed your body with healthy foods.  I got so used to reading labels and I was so shocked and surprised how many things I eat on a regular basis had so many "extra" ingredients.  The sugar aspect was another eye opener.  I also used to eat a lot of sugarless gum, I know that's not horrible but I've given it up now and I don't miss it anymore.

What foods did I really miss during the 30 days?  Yogurt hands down!  I eat Greek yogurt almost every day for lunch with fruit.  I really missed that.  It was a challenge to think of things to eat for lunch.  Mostly I ate salads with a protein source or leftovers of supper from the night before.  I did have some frozen yogurt the other day and it didn't bother me, but I had a major after lunch slump.  I was very groggy around 2:00.  Coincidence?  Maybe.  Or maybe it was the sugar in the fro-yo.  I'm not going to give up my yogurt.  I may not eat it every day anymore but I will still be having it.

How much weight did I lose?  I lost 6 lbs.  I'm pretty happy with that number even though lots of people that go on this plan lose more.  Could I have lost more?  Yup!  I'm sure of it.  Near the end I got kind of into eating nuts on a regular basis.  Nuts with lots of calories and lots of fat.  Good fat I know, but still you aint gonna lose weight if you eat lots of nuts.  Definately what I would call a "red light" food for me.  I really shouldn't keep them around.  Like Oprah always says "when you know better, you do better"!!  It even states in the book "it starts with food" that if weight loss is one of your goals with Whole 30 you should limit the amount of nuts and fruit you consume.  I didn't do that.  But that's ok.  I'm still a little bit over my WW goal but I can't believe that almost 1 year later I am within 5 lbs of my goal weight.  I call that a success!!  Maintenence is hard.  I really can't believe how hard it is.  You literally have to be on your game at all times.  The pounds creep up every so slowly, it's 1 or 2 at first and you think, ah no problem.  Then it becomes 5 or more.  When I look back on my numbers I see how slow it came off in the end.  Losing the last 10 lbs took forever!  I think it's all about being on a "plan" "diet" "lifestyle" whatever you want to call it for the rest of your life.  Like my sister (who has now been at goal for 2 years) says, it's pretty much a 95% - 5% mix of being on plan.  Having a treat now and then is ok but the rest of them time you gotta watch everything you eat.  Fact of life.  But it's so worth it.  Trust me.

Exercise.  Funny thing is, I hardly did anything these past 2 weeks.  I ran a few times, did Body Pump a few times but that's it.  It's like I can't seem to do everything at once.  Once I do I'm going to be unstoppable!!  Water slacked off at the end too.  Food intake, exercise and drink lots of water.  The magic 3.  Get these all going at once and it works people!  But it starts with food.  I lost weight the first 3 months on Weight Watchers without being able to exercise at ALL.  I had just had my second ankle tendon surgery.  So there ya go.

10 days till Vegas trip!  Getting very excited now.  We are going to Celine Dion, Aces of Comedy with Kevin James and Ray Romano, hopefully a taping of American Idol, a NASCAR race and although we don't have tickets yet we are planning on going to a Cirque du solei show.  And did I mention lots and lots of shopping?  I'm very lucky to have a husband that LOVES to shop.  Can't wait.

Movie with my niece tonight and I'm going to have frozen yogurt and movie popcorn.  Yes I am.  I skipped supper and I ran today!  Go me :-)

Day 18

Day 18 - Things are going pretty good.  I am sticking to the plan even though I've had MANY temptations.  Yesterday we had a work seminar and there was Tim Horton's doughnuts, muffins and coffee.  I had black coffee that's it.  The doughnuts sat there through the whole 2 hour meeting and I'm not gonna lie they smelled amazing but it's become a thing now, I refuse to quit!  Today they had a "beach party" coffee break.  Haha, very funny a beach party in the Winter.  Anyway, I went thinking they would have fruit maybe?  Nope it was tropical punch and ICE CREAM!  I drank my water and that's it.  This afternoon a disgusting smell was throughout the whole building (thank goodness it was after the beach party!).  It was gross.  I felt really nauseous and still am so I'm not feeling much like eating supper.  I had a banana that might be it.  Bleh.

As people have discovered that I am eating differently I have come accross some that have a lot to say about it.  It's frustrating to me.  Why should people care what I'm eating or not eating?  I guess that is the whole "misery loves company" mentality.  If I'm having a doughnut, then you should have one too.  Weight loss is a tough road.  You meet lots of people along the way that aren't supportive or are jealous of what you are doing.  I find for the most part it's people that need to change their own lifestyle that are the most critical of mine.

I am continuing to struggle with my fitness.  I slipped on the ice on the driveway on Tuesday night and hurt my hip and knee.  Just bruised but I'm still sore.  That's my excuse this week.  I know, still not a good one, but it's all I got.  Winter has to take a hike very soon.  I'm sick and tired of snow and short days.  Looking forward to running outside in the morning in the sun :-)

Day 15

Day 15 of Whole 30!  So I'm halfway there.  I have been doing really quite good sticking to the plan.  And I can't believe I have gone 15 days without sugar or sugar substitutes!!  That is huge for me.  I had some frozen cookie dough in the freezer that I had bought from the Vet students at work for a fundraiser.  It's been in there since before Christmas and I needed the freezer space so I made them yesterday.  It tempted me a bit because they smelled so good when they were baking but I held strong.  The boys will eat them fast so I'm not too worried about them being around too long.  Oatmeal raisin, not my favorite but I've really never met a cookie I didn't like!

I love not tracking.  I hope that when I'm done this plan I will be able to eat similar to this "paleo" style of eating.  It's very liberating to be just eating healthy foods, not worrying about eating the exact amount of the "wrong" things.  Does that make sense?  I realize that deprivation isn't the way to eat for the long haul but the more I read ingredients the more I feel better about my choices these days.  I have found some foods that I didn't eat often but now I'm obsessed with.  Avocados for one.  I love them!  Tonight I had a chicken breast, grilled with lime juice, avocado and salsa on top.  It was delicious.  Spinach.  I put that shit on everything.  I even made Kale chips.  I keep saying they aren't Pringles which is true but they are pretty good.  Salty, crunchy and so damn good for you!  I'm eating so many vegetables which is a good thing.  Fruit tastes so good too.  Loving apples with almond butter, one of my favorite Whole 30 snacks.  I've pulled out the Yonanas machine and it's saved me a few times when I've been wanting something sweet.  No added ingredients in that.  Fruit.  That's it.

You aren't supposed to weigh yourself until the end of the 30 days but I cheated.  I peeked on Saturday and I am down 5 lbs.  I'm happy with that, as I'm anxious to get back to my WW goal weight.  Getting close.  Saturday night we were invited to our neighbor's house for appetizers and drinks.  I had a bite to eat at home which was a good thing because the menu was coconut shrimp, crackers and cheese and flat bread.  Not on my plan.  I had a cup of black coffee that was it.  We then went to a hockey game with 2 couples.  Everyone was drinking but I didn't.  That doesn't bother me at all.  One of the girls was saying she could never do a Whole 30 because she drinks at least 2 glasses of wine a night.  The things you learn about people!  She is in amazing shape and works out like a beast so she obviously has it under control!  Superbowl party was cancelled because the hosts ended up going to Vegas.  I was OK with that.  We watched it at home, had a nice healthy dinner and no temptations (except the cookies!).

Worked out tonight.  I did my Body Pump at home.  Still thinking about cancelling that gym membership.  We'll see.