Goal Weight!!

Yesterday was a good day.  I stepped on the scale at home and it read 161.6 lbs.  I couldn't believe it!  Today was going to be the day I've been waiting for, working so hard for.  I took a picture Bitchcakes style.

bathroom at work - before WW meeting

Stepped on the scale at WW and the number was 164.4 lbs!!  (I weigh in at noon, fully clothed so it's always about 3 lbs heavier than at home naked first thing)  My leader and I discussed my options.  Should I wait to officially reach goal when I get back from holiday in Arizona / Las Vegas, or make today my goal day.  We decided that I should make today goal day.  She assured me that I have the next 6 weeks (maintenance) to adjust my points accordingly.  WW requires you to go on Maintenance for 6 weeks to become a lifetime member.  During that 6 weeks you are supposed to increase the amount of points you eat per day so that eventually you can figure out how many to eat to maintain your weight (that is not lose and not gain).  So the plan is to try not to gain during my trip.  

Maintenance book and star "at goal" charm

I was given my star charm award to put on my key chain during the meeting.  Everyone clapped and I was asked to say a few words about my journey.  I felt like a celebrity!!  I had some before pictures with me so I passed them around.  I felt so good.  Amazing feeling.  I want to remember this day forever.  When I went back to work I told a few people at work.  They were very happy for me too.  I really felt like I was on top of the world!  

How am I feeling about changing my goal?  I have mixed emotions about my goal.  After losing 3 lbs this week I can't help but think "why not keep going and get to 160?"  But I think I am smart to keep it at the 165.  I really, really struggled these past few months and I want a weight that I will be able to maintain.  I think I can maintain this.  I look at my body now and I see flaws, but I also see a "normal" sized body.  Not overweight and not skinny.  Somewhere in between.  And I'm good with that.  

I'm looking forward to our trip.  We leave on Friday.  I am excited to go shopping and buy some new clothes.  I've come a long way.  I'm very proud of myself :-)

Before

after

Best Dr. appointment EVER!

I had my Dr. appointment this morning.  It went great!  I was actually excited to get on the scale.  The nurse weighed me before the Dr came in (not one that I knew so it wasn't a big deal for her to see me).  Scale said 166 lbs!  The funny thing was she actually tried to weigh without the 150 lb weight.  I had to laugh at that one, she thought I might be under 150.  Anyway, she did blood pressure (which was great), etc and left me to change.

 

      Happy at the scale!                                    When she left and I changed into my 

                                                                        gown, I weighed again 165 lbs 

I had to wait for my Dr for a bit but when she came in she was so happy to see the new me!  She wanted to know all about what I have been doing and how I feel now.  She wrote me a note to change my goal weight at WW to 165 lbs.  She agreed that is a sensible weight for me.  She told me what my weight and BMI was at my last complete physical (which I think was in the fall of 2010).  I weighed 226 lbs and my BMI was 36.  I am exactly 60 lbs lighter and my BMI is now 26.  I thanked her for her advice over the years that had finally sunk in.  She has always told me "it's the food".  Whenever I told her I couldn't exercise for some reason or another (always an excuse) she would tell me it's about the food.  She was right.  When I started this journey I couldn't do anything.  I was only 1 week post surgery with my ankle tendon repair.  I lost the first few months without doing any exercise.  I just changed the way I ate.  Of course now exercise is a very important part of the equation but it's not the main thing.  

I left her office walking on air.  She has nagged me (in a kind, supportive way) to lose weight for years and finally I showed her that I could do it.  What a great feeling!

I bought two dresses recently for our trip to Arizona / Las Vegas.  The Arizona trip is a business trip for my husband and there is a couple of events that I will need to dress up for.  I didn't even own a dress that fit me anymore so I needed a few.  I also had no summer clothes that fit so I had to buy some of those too (not that I minded!).  Here are the dresses.  Excuse the crappy cell phone pictures.  

Dress #1

Dress #2 - Calvin Klein - pic doesn't do it justice it's beautiful , ruffle down front and fits perfect!

(both dresses size 12)

This post is getting long but one more thing.  My Dad's open heart surgery to repair his valve is tentatively booked for next Wednesday February 29.  2 days before we are supposed to leave on our trip.

Weigh in

Weigh in day today.  Down 1.2 lb.  How do I feel about that?  Happy that it's finally a loss but frustrated that I have literally lost only 2 lbs since Christmas.  Can you say slllllloooooowwwww?  I talked to one of the leaders at my meeting today and she thought the 165 goal idea was a good one.  I can still go under that goal if I want and if I'm able and at least I will get there in the not so distant future!  It was very cool that today was my sister Nancy's one year at goal anniversary at WW.  She got a little gold key for her WW key chain.  So awesome!  She has done so great.  I can't wait to be in her shoes someday.  Last night while surfing the net I was on http://www.sherylyvette.com/ and stumbled across the post of the day she reached goal weight at WW.  I had read it before but I re-read it.  It is amazing!  So inspirational and she is just so cool.  Sheryl was on a major plateau too.  That made me feel better.  It's so good to know I'm not alone.  It happens to other people too. Here's a link to the goal weight day post  http://www.sherylyvette.com/2010/07/day-i-reached-goal-weight.html 

And so I will keep on truckin'.  My Doctor's appointment is on Tuesday at 9:00 am.  I am excited to go.  I can't wait to get on the scale there and to show my Doctor what I've been doing in the last year ;-)

Stayed the same!!

I weighed in on Friday and I stayed the same.  I'm not gonna lie, I was genuinely pissed off.  I did everything right and I stayed away from the scale.  I was in a major funk for a few days.  I didn't over eat though.  But I did want to give up.  Sunday I got Dean to get the scale out for me and it tells me I am down 2 lbs from the last time I weighed on it.  So....I had him hide it again and I am forging on.  I feel better about things.  Today was a good day.  I did the treadmill in the morning, and I went to the gym after work.  I did another 25 minutes on the treadmill while I waited for my Body Pump class.  I found another good quote on pinterest (love that site!) and it really hits home with me these days.  It's really hard to lose weight, it's really hard to maintain weight loss, but it's also really hard to be overweight.  Choose your hard.

The scale is hidden.....life goes on!

So after my post on Friday I asked my husband to hide the scale.  He did it.  It has been very hard to not weigh every day.  I have been concentrating on doing the right things.  Getting my exercise in and eating right.  The scale was making me crazy.  I also didn't go to my Weight Watcher meeting last week.  I just couldn't face it.  It's OK, I'm not quitting (far from it) but I just needed a break from weighing and being disappointed.  Thanks for your support and tips.  I am going to talk to my Dr on the 21st about my goal.  I went shopping yesterday for clothes for our trip to Arizona and Las Vegas.  Amazing how I can feel so thin and great in one store and so fat and out of shape in another!  I tried on a pair of legging type jeans in a size 9 and they fit!  I didn't like the color so I didn't get them but I wanted to just because they were in a single digit size.  Crazy isn't it?  Then I go in another store and size 12 fits.  I have days where I think I don't need to lose anymore weight and other days where I can't believe I'm even thinking this way (feel like I have a lot left to lose).  Body image.  Something I need to work on.  I ordered 2 dresses from Sears.  Both in size 12.  One I had to get in a size 10 the other size 12 fits.  I like them both so I'm keeping them!  I keep thinking what would my 223 lb self be thinking right now?  Would she be thinking "if I could only fit into a size 10"?

Still struggling.....

After over a year on Weight Watchers the sad thing is I still have food issues.  Don't get me wrong, I have tackled a lot of them.  One thing I am struggling with now is going through stages of not eating much at all, then I decide that's not good and I start eating better (more).  I know I'm probably screwing up my metabolism now but I just have this feeling like I'm never going to get to goal.  I just sometimes wish that we didn't have to eat. It would be so much easier that way. But food is everywhere.  Everywhere you look, every time you turn on the TV, open a magazine, or socialize.  But we as human beings have no choice we have to eat.  Learning how to eat is the key.  I know this but sometimes it's so hard.  My weight has literally not moved in months.  Yes it has gone down, but it has also gone up too.  Up and down, down and up.  I have maintained.  I am obsessed with the scale again and it's playing with my head.  The past week it has NOT changed at all.  Every day I step on and every day it has said the same thing. And I'm going to be honest here.....it sucks!  I don't even want to go to my WW meeting tomorrow because I know I will be up or the same.  Today I was in such a bad mood all day and it started as soon as I stepped on the scale.  So what am I going to do about this?  Do I want to quit?  No.  I do have a plan.  I have a Doctor appointment on February 21st for a complete physical.  I am going to discuss my weight with her and see what she says.  If she agrees I will get her to sign a note to raise my goal weight at WW.  Then I can get my lifetime and finally quit paying!  Of course I will still work hard to try to lose and ultimately get down to 160.  I would secretly love to be in the 150's.  Maybe someday.