Monday, November 12, 2012

Results not typical....

Results not typical.  What does that mean exactly? It's a disclaimer that most weight loss companies put in small print after their success stories.  To me it  means that losing weight and keeping it off is a hard thing to do and most people can't do it.  Apparently 95% of people gain back all the weight they have lost after finishing a weight loss program.  Most within the first year.  So how do you become one of the 5% that keep the weight off forever?  I wish I knew.  I was at my goal for 6 months.  I am now on my 3rd month of being over my goal.  It's still only somewhere between 5-10 lbs but it's really got me down.  It's really strange, in my mind it's like I've already gained all the weight back.  I don't know how to explain it.  I feel fat.  I feel bad.  I feel like a failure.  And because I am wrestling with these feelings I am turning to food for comfort.  Isn't that ironic?  But it seems that old habits die hard.  It's a good thing I am still exercising or I'm sure the weight gain would be much more.  I have started a 10K training plan, I am using the Runkeeper app on my phone. I still hate running on the treadmill but I'm trying to work through it.  I have rigged up a way to watch my ipad while I'm on there and that has really helped.  Before I found a way to secure it to the treadmill it fell off one time.  My heart skipped a beat when if dropped and flew to the end of the treadmill and hit the wall behind!!  I was so glad it made it through unscathed!  Bottom line, it has snowed a ton here now so I won't be running outside until Spring.  I have to face that fact!  I am very jealous of all my fellow bloggers and Twitter friends that are continuing to run outside.  Here is a picture of my virtual 5K race and my first race medal ever!  Dani over at held a 5K race on her 30th Birthday for her family and friends and opened it up to "virtual" runners as well.  I was in a bad place that weekend emotionally but after that race I felt so much better.

My first race medal :-)

I have had some emotional stuff going on which I won't go into detail here because I'm really not sure who reads my blog.  It's been a really hard time for me.  I am seeing a counselor and it's helping but I have definitely turned to food more than once because of this.  But I will say that exercise has really helped me with my stress.  I'm thankful for that.

I feel like I have turned into that person that I used to HATE when I was overweight!  One of those that needs to lose 10 lbs.  Seriously, how can someone be upset about being 10 lbs overweight??  Try 60, now that's a REAL problem.  Right?  Now that I'm here I can tell you that 10 lbs is a big deal.  Of course it's nothing like having to lose 100 lbs or 50 lbs but it's still hard.  And I'm struggling.  I am still amazed at how easy it is to GAIN weight and how hard it is to LOSE it.

Where do I go from here?  I keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I continue to exercise and try to do a lot better tracking my food and controlling my emotional eating.  Because I don't like this feeling.  And I try to blog more.

1 comment:

Shelley said...

I know how you feel, with the small weight gain - it's like you've ballooned right back up to your original size. Which of course we know isn't true, but tell that to the brain, right?

Sounds like you've got some stressors that aren't helping with weight loss; just keep taking it one day at a time and it'll come back off. And I hope you can find peace with your other emotional stuff. Hugs.