Goodbye 190's.....again

Weight Watchers meeting tonight.  I lost 1.4 lbs and I am  happy with that number.  Saying goodbye to the 190's again.  Frustrating to have to lose this weight again, but I am determined to do it.  Moving forward, trying not to look back.  Learning from my mistakes, living in the present.

Update on the gym.  I went on Friday and Sunday.  I rode the stationary bike both days and my foot felt good.  On Friday I did the elliptical for about 15 minutes and it really hurt my foot, so I guess that's out for now.  But the bike was good, and even though I'm not a fan it felt good to do something and the time went pretty fast as there are TV screens on each machine.

My Dr. Scholls insoles seem to be doing the trick.  I am wearing shoes all the time now.  Even though I hate it I have to admit it's helping the pain.  So that's positive.

One more thing.  I know I maybe late to the party here but to all my Weight Watcher friends I bought a box of WW smoothies last week.  They only had one box left, chocolate.  I made it a few times just with almond milk  2 pp for smoothie and 1 pp for almond milk.  Well today I added a frozen banana, and OMG it was like a milkshake!  I'm not kidding, it was very good.  For some reason they don't have any left at my meeting.  Hoping they get some more for next week, because I will be having that again.  Yum.

That's all I've got for now.  I leave you with a picture of my window sill.  My jar of pounds lost and pounds still to lose.  The heart shaped jar is the pounds I have lost on WW.  I still need to add today's stone.  It really helps to have a visual, that you see every day.

Random Ramblings....

Today is the first of 4 days off for me!  I've made a big to-do list and ready to tackle some of the things that I've been putting off.  In my opinion, there is nothing like checking things off a list to make you feel good.  One of the first things on my list is to go to the gym.  I need to get back there and after this week I just know it's time.  We had a few really nice days where the sun was shining, the snow was melting and I just couldn't stop myself from getting out and walking.  I took Kayla (my dog) to the dog park on Sunday and I walked for a half an hour 3 days on my lunch breaks.  I was loving it, but I'm sorry to say my foot was not.  I have been in so much pain these past few days it's not even funny.  To make a long story short I feel I need to totally stop the "extra" walking and switch up my exercise to stationary bike, rowing machine, elliptical, etc for now.  I talked to a woman at work that has plantar faciitis and she has custom fit orthotics and is totally cured.  She never walks in bare feet and wears shoes with her orthotics (even in the house) all the time.  Frick.  I love bare feet.  I never wear shoes in the house.  But I hate this pain.  So I went to the drugstore last night and got on the Dr. Scholl's machine and got my foot profile.  $49.99 later I have a pair of "custom fit" orthotics.  I know, I know these are not the kind from the Podiatrist but I'm hoping they will help.  6 month money back guarantee so what do I have to lose?  And here is the thing, I wore them a bit last night and set them by my bed.  I put them on this morning and I have hardly had any pain since!  We'll see.  With any luck the grossly inflamed and damaged tissue in my foot will heal and I can proceed with what I love, walking and running (slowly!).  Time will tell.  In the meantime, I will get my sorry ass to the gym!

Weight Watchers was good this week.  I lost 1.6 lbs.  I thought it might be more but I'm happy with a loss.  Down 7 in total since recommitting to the program.  It's funny I see people in what looks like "weigh in day" clothes.  Yoga pants, dresses, etc.  I have been there but I swear I will not play those games again.  I go directly from work and I am generally in jeans.  That's what I am going to wear to weigh in.  I used to play those games where I knew I hadn't lost much so I would wear something lighter, or go to a morning meeting instead of an evening or noon one.  Not going there folks.  This is going to be a slow process but one that will get me there.  I'm anxious to get out of the 190's though, hopefully next week.

One thing I have noticed about the meetings is the product pushing and the "formula" meeting.  The WW flip charts and topics are usually from the weekly newsletter.  I don't hate it but I am finding that the half hour goes so quickly and the group doesn't usually get much time to talk.  Yes we talk about the topic but not much time to share "food finds", recipes and feelings about challenges etc.  I really like this leader, she's great but I sort of miss the old style meetings where you just sort of chatted about this weight loss journey and how the program was going for you with others that shared ideas and strategies.  And they really really push the products.  Whoah!  Are we on commission here?  I get it, WW needs to make money but c'mon.  This is just my opinion but I would be interested to know if I'm the only one that feels this way.  That all being said, it's a great program.  It helped me to lose 58 lbs and get to my goal and it's working again.  It really does work.

I'm going to check off some things on my list.  Number 1 is go to the gym!  Later gators :-)

Update on me

I feel like I've been writing this post in my head for months.  I would think about what I would write, then decide not to do it.  Who cares?  Who reads this?  Why do I need to share my story?  So here's the thing, I do this blog mostly for me.  Here goes.

Over the past few months I have gained weight.  It's been rough.  I have lots of excuses but none of them really matter.  The truth is I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  I overeat when I'm stressed.  I overeat when I'm lonely or bored.  I overeat when I'm feeling helpless about my weight.  Go figure, right?  It's a vicious cycle.

Dean and I took a trip to Maui January 29 - February 10 this year.  It was a fabulous trip.  Other than the fact that the weather wasn't perfect, the trip was great.  I loved Maui and want to go back there.  We are hoping to go again next year so we'll see.  I ran a 5 K race while we were there.  Pacific Whale foundation "run for the whales".  Before we left, my right foot was starting to hurt and feel like plantar faciitis again.  I tried to back off of running a bit and it seemed ok before we left.  During the race it started to hurt so bad.  I finished the race but I was in major pain by the time I was done.  Of course the race was near the beginning of the trip so the rest of it I hobbled around.  When I got  home, I tried to rest it as much as I could, I iced and took ibuprofen.  About 2 weeks later I went to the Dr. because it wasn't feeling any better.  She sent me for physiotherapy and did an x-ray (the x-ray revealed a small bone spur).  He said I indeed have plantar faciitis again.  And I did a terrible thing by wearing flip flops and bare feet after injuring it so bad during the race.  Oopsie.  My point is, and I do have one is that now I can't do the exercise that I'm used to doing.  Running / walking.  But I will never forget at the beginning of this journey in January 2011 I had just finished having my second surgery on my left foot.  And I lost weight.  My Dr. always used to say "it's the food" and with me it really is.  Once I get the food under control, the exercise always comes later.  That being said, I am going to start back at the gym this week.  I'm pretty sure I can do the elliptical machine and the stationary bike (not my favourite) and of course upper body work as well.

me after the race in Maui 

2 weeks ago I started Weight Watchers again.  I felt so helpless after we got home.  And all my attempts to lose weight by myself were not working or hadn't been working.  Weight Watchers is what helped me before and I know it can help me again.  I did feel that this time I needed a fresh start though.  A new meeting, a new leader,  a new day.  I found a great meeting and a great leader.  That first night I was horrified by the number I saw on the scale.  But I saw the number and I moved on.  I am more determined than ever to get back to goal.  I will do it.  I'm trying very hard to not give myself a timeline this time.  It will happen when it happens.  I need to concentrate on changing my relationship with food.  Finding new ways to deal with stress, loneliness, boredom, sadness, etc.
My new meeting is Tuesday at 5:30.  I am going to start updating the numbers at the sidebar of my blog too.  Keep me accountable.  I packed up all my smaller clothes in a rubbermaid bin.  I have changed the little blue glass stones in the heart shaped jar to reflect the gain and the pounds I need to lose.  Moving on.

Beautiful Maui

25 things you might not know about me

Hello all!

I thought I would do a "things about me" post.  I was going to do 10 but decided on 25.  Once I got started I just couldn't stop!

25 things about me:

1)  I'm obsessed with sunrises and sunsets!  

2)  I love beaches and the ocean

3)  My favourite food is ice cream

4)  My favourite colour is pink.  2nd favourite is light teal (like the ocean!)

5)  I'm the youngest of 4 children

6)  I met my husband in Kindergarten

7)  I want to learn to take beautiful pictures

8)  I love dogs and I dislike cats

9)  I'm a scrapbooker and have a huge paper collection

10)  I have also knitted, made jewelry, painted wood (folk art) and done ceramics.  I guess you could say I'm crafty!

11)  I love Birthdays and I always get sad when mine is over

12)  I hate Winter and I love Summer

13)  I'm not afraid of bugs but I am afraid of snakes

14)  I am very sensitive and tend to get hurt easily by what people say

15)  My favourite movies are romantic comedies.  I dislike science fiction, war and horror movies.

16)  I have lived in the same city all my life except one year

17)  the toilet paper has to roll from the top not the bottom.  And I will change it if it's wrong

18)  One of my favourite authors is Diana Gabaldon and I've met her 3 times

19)  My celebrity crush is Justin Timberlake

20)  My favourite number has always been 2.  I try to pick things with that number in it

21)  I love to travel!  On my list of places I want to see are New York City, Italy, Greece and anywhere in the Caribbean.

22)  I have worn glasses or contacts since I was 7 years old

23)  My name is Kim Marie but I always wished it was Kimberly

24)  I sewed my own Grade 12 Graduation dress.  It was pink satin with ribbon detail.  My date didn't show up for my prom :-(, needless to say it was our last date.

25)  I think I'm a good singer but no one has ever told me


On to weight loss items.  I am doing pretty good.  Trying to be patient with myself and not beat myself up.  This is hard for me.  One thing that I have always struggled with was the number on the scale.  It makes me crazy.  I get obsessed with weighing in too much.  Seeing a loss makes me happy, and in a sense a little cocky so I eat more.  Seeing a gain makes me sad, which makes me eat more.  It's not good.  I saw someone post about a Quantum scale.  It's a very cool idea.  It's a scale that never shows your weight!  Well not the number anyway.  It actually records your initial weight (without showing you the scary number), then it will show you a plus or minus of pounds (or kilograms) gained or lost.  I ordered one and have been using it this week.  I have to say it's pretty cool.  I'm not sure it's real accurate.  I'll keep you posted.  Eventually I will go back to a real scale because I will be curious but this is working for now.  Here's the site if you want to check it out quantumscale.com

Monday - it was a good day

Day off today.  EDO also known as earned day off.  We work an extra half an hour a day that we get to take off as a day every 3 weeks.  Works for me.  Tomorrow is my day off for working this coming Saturday. I picked up my Mom and one of my nieces and we headed downtown.  We had lunch and did a bit of shopping.  It was nice.

I met my sister and niece at the gym for a 4:30 Group Power class.  It's really hard to get used the the new name with the new gym.  To me it is Body Pump.  Meh, I'll adjust.

I came home and made supper and caught up on Twitter, Facebook etc.  I found a very interesting post from someone that I just started following.  It's funny, it was a link to a person who's page I used to "like" but I found she posted WAY too much so I "unliked" her page awhile back.  I read this and it really hit home to me.  Her blog is gokaleo.com and you can like her page on Facebook "Go Kaleo".  So here's what she said:

 How I overcame 3 decades of obesity.

I stopped:

-hating myself
-dieting
-reading diet books
-believing most of what I read on the internet
-shaming myself for enjoying food
-putting my life on hold 'until I lost weight'
-judging other women's bodies

I started:

-practicing self-care
-being physically active doing something I enjoy every day
-eating foods I enjoy in appropriate amounts
-making sure to get enough protein every day
-focusing on what my body can DO rather than how it looks
-being gentle with myself when I made mistakes
-perceiving those mistakes as valuable learning opportunities
-focusing on BUILDING a healthier body rather than TEARING DOWN the body I already had
-looking for the beauty in other women

She seems to figured this out.  I have not.  Two of the things I struggle with is self hatred and comparing myself to others.  This has to stop.  I am a work in progress.  I will get there.  Onward and upward.

Oh and I got the sweetest email from the coordinator of the Run for the Whales in Maui!  It seems I'm a little too eager for the race.  Online registration hasn't opened yet.  Ooops.  She said to check back when it gets a little closer to the Feb 2nd 2014 date.  I will do that :-)

Sunday musings

I woke up this morning with a sinus headache.  Boohoo!  I was hoping I could somehow avoid the dreaded Fall cold that's going around.  Maybe I can still fight it off.  I was planning to try a Hot Yoga class at the gym today but I think I will skip it.  I've literally done nothing so far today (except have breakfast and coffee) and it's almost noon.  I have booked a flight to Calgary for November 1-3 to visit my BFF so that's exciting!  Also I looked into races that I could run while in Maui.  I found an awesome one!  I'm so pumped.  There seems to be a problem with online registration but I have emailed the representative so hopefully I can register soon.  No medals unless you place 1st, 2nd or 3rd but T-Shirts and a breakfast after so I'm happy with that.  And how amazing will it be to run right beside the ocean in Maui??!!  Yup I'm so in.  Hopefully my darling husband will be on board.  Maybe I'll sign him up for the walk!  Here's the link if anyone is interested mauiwhalefestival
I'm thinking of doing the 10K.  It would be my first, and it would be incentive to keep me running over the Winter.

I went to a Group Power class yesterday.  It was good!  I almost didn't go, because none of my family was able to come and I was running a bit late.  But I'm so glad I did.  It felt so good.  My goal is to do that class 2 times a week, run as much as I can (damn treadmill I hate you but Winter is almost here) and yoga at least once a week (hopefully more).  That's my plan.

101 days to Maui Trip!

Both sides......

I've looked at life from both sides now....... I know, I know, it's corny to quote a song but it's very true. As a side note, my sweet Mom used to do this all the time when I was growing up and it drove me nuts!  She was always singing a song when something reminded her of a song.  Now I totally do it too :-)  I've also realized it's not a bad thing that I have a lot of my Mom's qualities.  She's an amazing woman.

Now back to the subject of this post.  I run blog posts through my head for days before I finally get to my computer and get them posted.  Does anyone else do this too or is it just me?  Monday night I had this post completely done and then I fell asleep and I must have accidentally deleted it before I hit publish.  I was not amused.  I, not unlike other bloggers I follow and admire have gained some weight. I feel like I'm in good company.  These are people that I have followed in their journeys and admired their successes.  We are human.  We lose weight and unfortunately we gain it too.  Not always, but seriously look at the statistics.....it happens.  I've been at both sides of this weight loss journey.  Here's some thoughts.

I have been a Weight Watcher at goal.   I have been a new member looking at 50 + pounds to lose.

I have had a closet full of nice clothes that all fit me and I felt good in them.  I have had a closet full of clothes that didn't all fit me and what did fit was bulky and bought to hide my flaws.

I have felt in control of food.  I have felt like the food controlled me.

I've been able to shop in any store I want for clothes, even Costco (not a big deal to some but it was HUGE to me!).  I've been very limited with the stores I could buy clothes in.

I have felt very fit and even ran a 5K without stopping.  I have been out of breath running up the stairs.

When I went out it was fun to get dressed up.  When I went out I agonized over finding something that didn't make me look horrible.


I fit into a size 10 comfortably and even a size 8 in a pair of lululemon yoga pants.  I fit into a size 18 and even a size 20 pair of capris (even though I cut the tag out when I got them home).

I have felt very good about my body.  I have felt very ashamed of my body.

I have cried tears of joy over my weight loss success.  I have cried tears of sadness over my weight gain.

I was a normal weight.  I was overweight.

I was happy.  I was sad.

So you see, if you were me which side you would want to be on.  I need to do this.  I'm still struggling but I'm slowly starting to pull myself out of this.  I did end up joining the gym.  It's a beautiful facility with great classes and 3 locations in the city.  2 of which are relatively close to me (I live in a fairly small city, I'm sure some of you would laugh if you knew how close the far away location is!) and one is clear across the city!  But the one that is far away (it took my 15 minutes by car the other day.....in traffic it will be longer) is the one that my sister and 2 of my nieces go to.  I went to a weight class there with them on Monday (our Thanksgiving day).  Similar to Body Pump, they call it Group Power. I don't know if it was the combination of being in the front row and being with people I knew but I really pushed it, and now I'm so fricking sore!  I used to do that class faithfully 2 times a week, sometimes 3.  I have a long way to go to get back there but it's a start.  I also went to a Step class last week too.  It was good too.  They have lots of yoga classes and even hot yoga that I'm dying to try.  I'm still working with my confidence and the fact that I feel like everyone is judging me.  I know they probably aren't and like my sister said "most people are too self absorbed to even care!"  I know she's right.  I just have to suck it up and continue to get my butt off the couch.